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Pity Life

sometimes life doesn't fair right? and something you just wanna hide from nothing.
alright, it was the first december and its still feel the same. i don't want to continue this painful life. i have no parent anymore. my mom already died years ago and not long after that my father leave me with my little sister, i dont know why. Since that i have to work hard to survive. Actually i don't want to continue this life, but i have to find the money to pay the hospital. my little sister is very pity. she has a cancer. she cant move from her bed, she only can move her arms. I dont know why she has a spirit for life and i don't.
i feel very useless because i think i cant make my little sister happy. everyday after working, i just can bring her some comics. Just comics but she always said " thank you so much! i love you !"
Christmas came closer, i have to save my money right now. and i make promised to my little sister to bring her out to the center of the town. i want to give her a special present.

"happy Christmas!! " my little sister yelled when i came in to her room. okay right now i need to ask doctor's permission to bring her out this night. but hell yeah he said no! but i dont want to make my little sister dissapointed so at the night silently i carried her at my back and make sure no one notice us.
we're sitting together under the big Christmas tree. and then i gave her the special present. the scrapbook. i know she like drawing manga.
"nichan arigatou.."then she started to crying.
"you dont have to crying like this, what do you want now? i will buy anything you want! or you want eat something?"
"No, nichan this is enough, you don't have to spend your money again. now i just want you always beside me" she smiled.
i don't know how long we sitting here.
"nichan.. i'm cold"
oh my god, her body very cold. I returned to the hospital immediately. the doctor very mad at me, he said my little sister in danger. damn! what the hell am i doing?! ahhh I should listened to what the doctor said to me! how stupid i am to bring her out!

to be continued.

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