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Dear friend, I think you should know this

i dont know what really happen to me!

I never really thought I would ever get to this point of my life, Im confused. I remember those days when the beauty of a wonderful friendship made me realize I did not wanted a friendship from you anymore. I thought those moments were too great, those laughs were too loud, those smiles were too big, but turns out I was just too young to know that’s the way real friendships are sometimes. As the friendship grew stronger, my feelings for you started to grow even more, to the point where I could’ve sworn I was in love with you. It was weird though, cause I was pretty sure you wanted more from me too. Well, the thing is shit happens and I finally understood we were just friends and that was all we were going to be, I started realizing being your best friend meant staying by your side forever and being your girlfriend didn’t, so I was fine.
Years passed by, I moved on and learned to “love” another guy, you had a girlfriend too. But you were still my number one friend, the first person I would go to when I needed an advice and the guy that I trusted the most. I felt great at that point, I felt as if I had the best friend in the world, just the best friend, and I didn’t want you to be anything but that :) You were actually like my brother, and I was happy with myself, with boyfriend, with my friends. 
Then all of a sudden everything changed and things turned into the way they are now. I mean, our friendship didn’t change, but I did. I started to realize that there’s a reason why your always in my mind, there’s a reason why the fact of you saying sweet things to me means more than anything, there’s a reason why I’m always worried about you, there’s a reason why I’m always looking forward to see you, paying attention to what you say, doing what you ask me to do, ditching anyone for you. 
I won’t say I’m in love, cause at the end I’m used to the fact of seeing you date other girls and helping you with them, and I’m also used to the fact of dating other guys and getting advice from you. It wouldn’t be easy to have you as more than a friend now that I’m so used to being your best friend. We know so much about each other it would be crazy if we were more than friends. So I rather only be that.
But at the end of the day, I can’t help but ask myself WHY? If we’re just friends WHY does my heart beat waaaaaaaaay faster when you talk to me than when any other friend does? WHY does your hand seem to perfectly fit mine? WHY does the fact of you talking to me everyday make me so damn happy? WHY am I always wanting to know what’s going on with your life? WHY ,WHY WHY?
It’s okay though, as I said before I guess being your best friend means staying by your side forever and being your girlfriend doesn’t, so I’m fine. I may or may not be in love with you, but thats alright, I don’t feel bad, Im used to it. 

♥vera

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